How to deal with toxic people

The best way to be sure that your life is not harmed by toxic people’s poison is –of course- to completely cut them out from your life. But that solution is sometimes hard or impossible to apply. You can’t just quit your job and look for another one because you have one or two toxic colleagues; you can’t also completely end your relationship with a member of your family just because they are arrogant or maybe a rude person. Anyway, you are still able to deal with their toxicity and to have a healthy life even if they are part of it.

In a previous article (How to spot toxic people), I presented 7 categories of toxic people you may encounter, to help you know them more and be sure that a person is really toxic and you should deal with him. After spotting and identifying a toxic person, the time comes to apply 4 global changes to your behavior and the way you interact with him.

Make sure they will not know more about you

No need to completely distance yourself from them and make it so clear that they are toxic and you are avoiding them. Just make sure that they will not get more information about you and your life, be it personal or professional.

All types of toxic people will be more able to hurt you if they know so much about, for example, a gossiper will share your family problems, a rude person will use your past mistakes - you shared with him during your friendly conversations- against you every time you will have a dispute with them, a profiteer will to manipulate and exploit you will grow stronger if he gets to know about your talents and what you can do or what you are actually planning to achieve or achieving … being discreet will not only protect you from toxic people’s harm, it will also create boundaries between you and them.

Don’t fight fire with fire

Don’t enter into a useless war with them. Don’t let pain, anger, and all the bad emotions thy made you feel push you to lose control and seek vengeance. You will just become part of their toxic games and it will be so hard to get out.

Your objective is to clean your life from toxicity, not to drop it with your own hands in a sea of toxicity and drama. What you need to do, is to be patient, and to drain power from your self-confidence in order to start acting like you don’t care and to show an attitude of immunity to their toxic behaviors. It will start with acting, but after a short time, you will notice that you are really becoming careless and that they are not ruining your mood anymore.

Spend time with positive people

Hanging out with positive people will restore your faith in humanity, it will help you feel relieved, and it will make you know that you are not the only one dealing with toxic people and that it’s completely normal. This will make you stronger and immune to negativity.

Think less about them, think more about yourself

Don’t try to think about why they are like that, their reasons, what is going on their heads… It will make you more sensitive and vulnerable to their poison. Focus in your life, and give your whole attention to your work, plans, real problems you have, and people you share love and care with. Those things are far more important than a bunch of toxic having no purpose but to ruin other people’s day.